Matt Dawgs' Insanity

Been a while...but I am still here.

2006-06-26T14:47:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the delay for the one person who probably reads my blog. I haven't been much of a diary guy so i lose track of what i am doing and forget to come here and post. Tons of stuff has happened since i last posted. Cousins getting married, people having kids, new columns being written. Too much to get into in one post but for the most part, know that stuff is happening. Check me out on My Space now as everyone and their mothers and fathers now have pages even though i was down before them all. I was cool before it was cool to be cool. Look at cool old me.

Anyway, Extreme Championship Wrestling is back and I am covering it for World Wrestling Insanity. Give it a looksie. You can find it here.

Other stuff going on but i'll be back to discuss it later. Or tomorrow. Or soon. Who knows?

Big Things

2005-12-07T10:31:00.000-05:00

Wow, it's been a while since i posted. When i originally decided to become a "blogger", i figured i would try to do one per day, maybe every two days the most. But unfortuneately that hasn't been the case due to a myriad of reasons. However the past month has been incredible for me which kept me from posting as much as i would have liked. First off, my cousin Charles (aka fellow blogger "Tools of the Trade") became the proud father of a baby girl named Megan on November 4, 2005.

Then, on November 23, 2005, i became a loving husband to a wonderful woman, my soulmate, partner and best friend.

So all in all, it has been a whirlwind of a month for me. I spent a week in Oahu Hawaii. An incredible place. I will add some pictures of that here soon. Besides that, i have just been trying to get into the swing of things. You can still check me out at World Wrestling Insanity and all the other places i frequent. Enjoy folks.

Rest In Peace Eddie Guerrero

2005-11-15T20:40:00.000-05:00

MINNEAPOLIS (AP) - Eduardo Gory Guerrero, a World Wrestling Entertainment superstar was found dead in his hotel room Sunday in Minneapolis, where he was scheduled to appear that evening in a WWE Supershow. He was 38.

When he didn't respond to a wake-up call, hotel security at Minneapolis Marriott City Center and Guerrero's nephew and fellow WWE wrestler, Chavo Guerrero, forced their way into the room, police said.

There were no apparent signs of foul play or suicide, police said. An autopsy was planned at the Hennepin County medical examiner's office.

He was a featured star on the UPN series "WWE Smackdown!" and son of Mexican wrestler Gory Guerrero.

Chavo Guerrero and McMahon said Guerrero was open about his past drug and alcohol abuse but they said he'd been sober for four years.

In February 2004, Guerrero became the second wrestler of Hispanic heritage to be WWE champion when he defeated Brock Lesnar, a former University of Minnesota wrestling standout. Guerrero lost the title four months later.

In May 2004, UPN aired the special "Cheating Death, Stealing Life: The Eddie Guerrero Story." The one-hour program chronicled his childhood and his struggle with drug addiction that almost cost him his job, family and life before his recovery and eventual capture of the WWE championship.

Just some stuff

2005-11-07T13:32:00.000-05:00

World Wrestling Insanity

Chucky is a DAD. Congrats DUDE. Megan Alexis was born on 11/4/2005. She is 8 lbs. 10 ozs. 19 inches long. I am so happy for him and his wife. Fantastic stuff.

I am getting married in a few weeks. I am also very excited. It is going to be fantastic. Everyone keeps telling me that the day is going to fly by. I hope not. But if it does, so be it. I am going to sit back and enjoy the ride.

The NY Giants are in first place. 6-2 record. Excellent. I smell a Super Bowl trip coming.

I have been to 2 Knick games this year. 1 exhibition and 1 regular season game. Knicks record for those two games? 0-2.

Wearing contact lenses. Feel a little weird but i am getting used to it.

My dad is in the Bronx from Puerto Rico. First time in NY in 4 years. He is adjusting. He is here for my wedding and will be here until December. He is leaving while i am gone on my honeymoon.

Working hard. Working long hours. Working late. Lots of work. Don't think i have ever had a job where i work so many damn hours. But it pays the bills and brings me some cheddar so i cant complain too much.

Need to get DVR. Cablevision now carries it. Hear it is the greatest invention for television.

Wrestling is sucking lately. Let me rephrase. WWE wrestling is sucking. TNA however, doing well for themselves.

That's all for now. I'LL BE BACK.

Etc.....

2005-10-26T17:47:00.000-04:00

Have ex-locomotive engineers been derailed?

Have ex-mathematicians become dysfunctional?

Have ex-punsters been expunged?

How come toy hippos are always blue, or purple, when real hippos are brown?

Why is it that whenever you sing to the radio, your voice is higher? Even when you have a low voice?

Why is most lunchmeat bigger than the bread?

Is there a certain temperature at which it stops being qualified as cold? At what temperature does it qualify as hot?

If you were a pastor, and you were getting married, would you hire a pastor, or would you do the wedding yourself?

Why is Joey short for Joe, when Joey has more letters?

Can someone have their head in the clouds and be down-to-earth at the same time?

If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot?

If you died with braces on would they take them off?

Why do mattresses have designs on them when they're always covered with sheets?

If a singer sings their own song during a karaoke party, is it considered karaoke?

If conjoined twins participate in sports, do they count as one or two players?

Why is shampoo clear but conditioner not?

Do cows have calf muscles?

How come French fries are not considered a vegetable, they are just deep fried
potatoes?

Do babies produce more spit than adults?

Why do they say "an alarm going off," if it is really going on?

Been Busy, Enjoy.

2005-10-21T15:58:00.000-04:00

Why do bars advertise live bands?

What does a dead band sound like?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

If your feet smell and your nose runs, are you built upside down?

Why do guys wear underpants?

Why do people who only eat natural foods drink decaffeinated coffee?

Why do they call it disposable douche? Is there a kind of douche you keep after using?

Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why do they report power outages on TV?

Why do they sell a pound cake that only weighs 12 ounces?

Why do 'tug'boats push their barges?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why do we have hot water heaters?

Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?

Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there?

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

Why does an alarm clock "go off" when it begins ringing?

Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?

Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?

Why don't you ever hear about gruntled employees?

Why don't you ever see baby pigeons?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

Why is a women's prison called a penal colony?

Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?

Why is it called a bust, when it stops right before the part it is named after?

Why is it called a TV "set" when you only get one?

Why is it called 'after dark', when it is really after light?

Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

Why is it when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open it's not adoor?

Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a "near miss"?

Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result is the same?

Why is Mickey Mouse bigger than his dog Pluto?

Why is the alphabet in that order?

Is it because of that song?

Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?

Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?

Why is there only ONE Monopolies Commission?

Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package
says, "Open somewhere else"?

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

After eating, do amphibians have to wait an hour before getting out of the water?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

Are there seeing eye humans for blind dogs?

Have ex-bankers become disinterested?

Have ex-civil lawyers been distorted?

Magic Monday

2005-10-17T15:33:00.000-04:00

Is there a Dr. Salt?

Isn't hot water already hot?

Can you grow birds by planting birdseed?

Just before someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach?

Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?

Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"?

There are 24 hours in a day, and 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

What came first the chicken or the egg?

What color is a chameleon on a mirror?

What color would a smurf turn if you choked it?

What did we do before the Law of Gravity was passed?

What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?

What do sheep count when they can't sleep?

What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?

What does it mean if you break a mirror with a rabbits foot?

What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?

What happened to the first 6 ups?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

What happens when you call a 1-800 number collect?

What is a free gift?

Aren't all gifts free?

What is another word for "thesaurus"?

What is the speed of dark?

What part of the monkey do you use a monkey wrench on?

What's another word for synonym?

When blind people go to the bathroom, how do they know when they are done wiping their butt?

When people lose weight, where does it go?

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

When vultures are on their deathbed, are they ever tempted to eat themselves?

When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?

When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?

When you're sending someone styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

Where are Preparations A through G?

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?

Who invented accents?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Why are the cabs from the Yellow Cab Company painted orange?

Why are there never any artist's materials in a drawing room?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?

Why are we afraid of falling?

Shouldn't we be afraid of the sudden stop?

Why aren't there bulletproof pants?

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why didn't Luke Skywalker tell Darth Vader to turn to the light side of the Force?

Why do airlines call flights nonstop?

Won't they all stop eventually?

Working on a Saturday

2005-10-15T20:51:00.000-04:00

Sucks big time. But what can you do? It pays the bills no? Anyway, here is some randomocity. Enjoy.

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?

If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, who came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

If soap is used to make you clean, why does it leave a scum?

If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide and seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?

If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill herself, is it considered a hostage situation?

If superglue is so good, why doesn't it stick to the side of the tube?

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why's it still #2?

If the cops arrest a mime, do they have to tell him he has the right to remain silent?

If the Energizer Bunny attacks someone, is it charged with battery?

If the folks at the psychic hotlines were really psychic, wouldn't they call you first?

If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

If women ran the Pentagon, would missiles and submarines be shaped differently?

If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of earrings, why don't they wear a pair of bras?

If you ate pasta and anti-pasta, would you still be hungry?

If you bear a child, why do you have a cow?

If you can read the marking, isn't that end already up?

If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?

If you dive into a pool of dry ice, can you swim without getting wet?

If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the driver end up owing you money?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If you have a friend who works for the Psychic Friends Network, should you plan a surprise birthday party for them?

If you have an open mind why don't your brains fall out?

If you have your finger touching the rearview mirror that says -- "objects in mirror are closer than they appear", how can that be possible?

If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep going wrong?

If you play a blank tape at full volume and have a mime for a neighbor, will he complain?

If you put freeze-dried coffee in the microwave, will you go back in time?

If you spend your day doing nothing, how do you know when you're done?

If you steal a clean slate, does it go on your record?

If you take a shower, where do you put it?

If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia can you read correctly?

If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?

Instead of talking to your plants, if you yell at them would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?

Is a castrated pig disgruntled?

Is it possible to be totally partial?

Is it progress if a cannibal learns to eat with a fork?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

More Blah

2005-10-12T10:27:00.000-04:00

World Wrestling Insanity

Could someone ever get addicted to counseling?

If so, how could you treat them?

Did the early settlers ever go on a camping trip?

Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you?
But when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window!

Do fish get cramps after eating?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

Do one legged ducks swim in circles?

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as 4's?

Does the Postmaster General need a stamp of approval?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike?

How can someone "draw a blank"?

How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

How can there be "self help GROUPS"?

How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?

How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?

How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

How do you know when yogurt goes bad?

How do you know when you're out of invisible ink?

How does a shelf salesman keep his store from looking empty?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

How fast do you have to go to keep up with the sun so you're never in darkness?

How is it possible to have a civil war?

If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?

If a tree fell on a mime in the forest, would he make a sound and would anyone care?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

If a woman can be a meter maid, can a man be a meter butler?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow?

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

How many people thought of the Post-It note before it was invented but just didn't have anything to jot it down on?

How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away?

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

If a bus station is where a bus stops, and a train station is where a train stops, why do I have a work station on my desk?

If a case of the clap spreads, is it then considered a case of the applause?

If a cat always lands on its feet, and buttered bread always lands butter side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top of a cat?

If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar do you believe him?

If a dog sweats through his tongue, why does he have armpits?

If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be able to hear it?

If a mute child swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?

If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

BLAH BLAH BLAH

2005-10-10T10:06:00.000-04:00

Why is a woman in a suit a "business person” but a man in a dress is a "transvestite"?

When pigs fart, does it smell like bacon?

Was Dawson Named After The Creek or Was The Creek Named After Dawson?

Could a tanning bed kill a vampire? If not would they get a tan?

How long is it until your relationship is considered a long-term relationship?

Can you make cheese out of human breast milk?

IF MONEY DOES NOT GROW ON TREES, WHY DO BANKS HAVE BRANCHES?

If you cut off a glowworm's tail would it be delighted?

How do you know which armrest is yours in the movie theaters?

If you say something is indescribable, isn't that describing it?

Do Dutch people always split the bill?

Can you sleep forever without being in coma?

Why is it called butterfingers when there is no butter or fingers in it?

If you shine a light into a mirror, do you get twice as much light?

How come it was called the Cosby Show when Billy Cosby's character was named Heathcliff Huxtible?

If a Truck is loaded with Helium, would it weigh less than when it was empty?

Wouldn't it get better fuel mileage?

Why is the blackboard green?

Why do they call it a black light when it's really purple?

Why do hotdogs come in packs of 8 when hotdog rolls come in packs of 10?

What do you call male ballerinas?

How come the sun makes your skin darker but your hair lighter?

If you dig a tunnel straight through the earth, will you come out with your feet first?

Why are pennies bigger than dimes?

Did they have antiques in the olden days?

Are zebras black with white stripes, or white with black stripes?

If Pringles are "so good that once you pop, you can't stop" why do they come with a resealable lid?

Is a sleeping bag a nap sack?

What came first, the fruit or the color orange?

Where does the white go when the snow melts?

Can blind people see their dreams?

If there's an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule?

Why do you click on start to exit Microsoft Windows?

Have you ever wondered why Trix are only for kids?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't
go that fast on any road?

Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?

If Wile Coyote had enough money for all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If masochists like to torture themselves, wouldn't they do it best by not torturing themselves? and if so, aren't we all masochist?

why is it called lipstick when it always comes off?

If when people freak out they are said to be "having a cow", when cows freak out are they said to be "having a person?"

Aren't you tired of people asking you rhetorical questions and you don't know if they are rhetorical questions or not?

Why is a person that handles your money called a BROKER?

Why do we leave expensive cars in the driveway, when we keep worthless junk in the garage?

why do they have handicap parking spaces in front of they skating rings?

What happens if someone loses a lost and found box?

Why do they call it taking a dump? Shouldn't it be leaving a dump?

What if the hokey-pokey really is what it's all about?

Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?

If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests?

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Why do banks leave the door wide open but the pens chained to the counter?

What would happen if an Irresistible Force met an Immovable Object?

What's the difference between a wise man and a wise guy?

If Americans throw rice at weddings, do the Chinese throw hamburgers?

how can you chop down a tree and then chop it up?

How can you hear yourself think?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

Is a man full of wonder a wonderful man?

Is a hot car cool or is a cool car hot?

How come thaw and unthaw mean the same thing?

If The Flintstones were B.C. and before America, why did they have Flintstones Thanksgiving and Flintstones Christmas?

If a Man is talking in the forest and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Why is it that when a person tells you there's over a million stars in the universe you believe them, but if someone tells you there's wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?

if you fed a bee nothing but oranges, would it start making marmalade?

Why is it you get a penny for your thoughts, but have to put in your two cents worth?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

If the speed of movement is slower than the speed of light - how fast is a moving light?

why do you get on a bus and a train but get into a car?

Why is it good to be a Daddy's girl, but bad to be a Momma's boy?

How can something be new and improved? if it's new, what was it improving on?

Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?

Why did they name that underwear company fruit of the loom?

Why do grocery stores buy so many checkout line registers if they only keep 3 or 4 open?

why do the ABC song, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Baa Baa Black Sheep all have the same tune?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

How does Santa get into a house that doesn't have a chimney?

If you get cheated by the better business bureau, who do you complain to?

If you're in hell, and are mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?

What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?

What would Cheese say if they got their picture taken?

why are turds pinched off at the end?

I know you can be overwhelmed, and I know you can be underwhelmed, but can you just be whelmed?

If Barbie is so popular, then why do you have to buy her friends?

Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants?

If you take an oriental person and spin him around a few times, does he become disoriented?

How come overtones and undertones are the same thing?

What would you use to dilute water?

What should one call a male ladybird?

How can military troops be deployed if they have never been ployed to begin with?

If you lived in Siberia and you wronged the Russians government, where would they send you?

Why do they call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere but call it a hemorrhoid when its in your ass?

If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

Aren't all generalizations false?

Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

Can I get arrested for running into a Fire House yelling Movie! Movie!?

Can you be a closet claustrophobic?

The madness

2005-10-07T16:36:00.000-04:00

What a surreal week in the Wrestling newsletter world. So much nonsense over something that shouldn't have been big or an issue that it has become. Jesus H. Christ. People choosing sides, people cancelling subscriptions. I just can't believe all the B.S.

It is madness and it makes me sad. What can i do though? You know?

No funny quips today. No pictures. No nothing. Not in the mood to do so. Just check out World Wrestling Insanity and enjoy yourself. It is a fun place to be. Also sign up for our free message board.

Wrestling Insanity.com

2005-10-04T17:56:00.000-04:00

It's going well. Big things coming soon. The message board is livening up. I am having a blast.

Yanks in Anaheim tonight at 8:00 PM. Watch and enjoy.

YANKS ARE IN~!~!~!

2005-10-03T15:30:00.000-04:00

The New York Yankees clinched the AL East, Again. For all the haters and non believers i say this, HAHA. Never sleep on a great team.

We open tomorrow in Anaheim for the Divisional Series. I fully expect us to win and play the Red Sox next weekend. Should be good.

My weekend was cool. Fiance was sick so we stayed home on Saturday. Sunday i hung out with some of her family i haven't had a chance to hang out with before. It was a hell of a time. Real good people.

The Insanity is here and flowing. Going good so far. This week is going to be a big news week though. I will keep you posted. In the meantime, check out the new message board and post on it.

Wrestling Insanity Message Board

Should be fun.

RAW returns to the USA Network tonight with a HUGE 3 HOUR SPECIAL. Tune in at 7:55 PM tonight for more. Now, i leave you with the Random Insanity:

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink what ever comes out"?

What do people in China call their good plates?

Can you sentence a homeless man to house arrest?

Does a postman deliver his own mail?

If the professor on Giligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why doesn't a chicken egg taste like chicken?

Why is it that cargo is transported by ship while a shipment is transported by car?

Does peanut butter really have butter in it?

Do mimes watch silent movies?

Why do people say "You scared the living daylights out of me" when daylight is not living?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but people don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up "there" anyway?

If somebody vanished without a trace, how do people know they are missing?

Why are boxing rings square?

Why is it called pineapple, when's there neither pine nor apple in it?

Why is it called eggplant, when there's no egg in it?

Why do people never say "it's only a game" when they're winning?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Why do birds have white poop?

Why is an elevator still called an elevator even when its going down?

Why is an electrical outlet called an outlet when you plug things into it? Shouldn't it be called an inlet.

If love is blind, how can we believe in love at first sight?

If you accidentally ate your own tongue, what would it taste like?

Do sore thumbs really stick out?

Why is it when your almost dead your on deaths doorstep, but when your actually dead your not in deaths house?

Why do we scrub Down and wash Up?

What's the opposite of opposite?

If Practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, then why practice?

Is the opposite of "out of whack" "in whack"

If you try to fail and succeed, what did you just do?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

On the periodic table, why do some elements have symbols with letters that aren't even in the word?

Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep?

Why do they call it “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” when they know the answer is going to be everyone?

Why does Bugs bunny walk around the cartoon naked, but puts a bathing suit on when he goes swimming?

If a terminator is someone who kills, shouldn't an exterminator be the opposite?

How many people do you need to consider it a mass suicide/murder?

If a robber tried to rob a dance club and yelled, "Everybody get down", would all the people start dancing?

The Greatest Rivalry in Sports This Weekend.

2005-09-30T12:05:00.000-04:00

It all comes down to this. The greatest rivalry in sports. The New York Yankees vs. the Boston Red Sox. This weekend, beginning tonight at 7:00 PM, these two teams will begin a three game series. If Boston sweeps the Yankees, they automatically win the division and make the playoffs. If the Yankees sweep, Boston goes home. Should Boston win at least 2 of the three games, the teams will play an additional one game on Monday at Yankee stadium. This is intrigue and it is going to be a great series. Such a wonderful time to be a baseball fan.

The probably matchups are:
TODAY:
NY Chien-Ming Wang vs. Boston David Wells

TOMORROW:
NY Randy Johnson vs. Boston Tim Wakefield

SUNDAY:
NY Mike Mussina vs. Boston Curt Schilling

Watch the series, enjoy the baseball.

EXTRA EXTRA, YANKEES IN FIRST.

2005-09-29T15:21:00.000-04:00

4 games left and the Yanks have sole possession of first place in the American League East over Boston by 1 game as well as sole possession of the Wild Card spot over Cleveland by 1 game. Things are good.

Lost was another fantastic episode last night. I love it.

The Insanity is going well. Good feedback so far. Check it out if you have a chance. The link can be found at the right.

Not much else to report right now so here is some Randomness.

Why do they put "for indoor or outdoor use only" on Christmas lights?

If Dracula has no reflection, how comes he always had such a straight parting in his hair?

If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them?

Why is Grape Nuts cereal called that, when it contains neither grapes, nor nuts?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Why do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?

Isn't it kind of ominous to put your tax returns in the mail box and put up the little red flag?

What ever happened to an E grade? We have A,B,C,D,F but no E.

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Don't you find it worrying that doctors call treating you their "practice" ?

Do they have the word "dictionary" in the dictionary?

What do you call a female daddy long legs?

If croutons are stale bread, why do they come in airtight packages?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

If a transport truck carrying a load of cars gets into a car accident, does it increase the number of the cars in the pile-up?

In France do people just ask for toast and get French toast? or do they have to ask for American toast?

Why is it called a "drive through" if you have to stop?

Why does mineral water that has "trickled through mountains for centuries" go out of date next year?

If Milli Vanilli fell in the woods, would someone else make a sound ?

Why are SOFTballs hard?

Do vampires get AIDS?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp which no decent human being would eat?

Why are they called goose bumps? Do geese get people bumps?

Why is it that lemon dishsoap is made with real lemons, but lemon juice is artificial flavoring?

If you stole a pen from a bank then would it still be considered a bank robbery?

Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

Why can magicians make things disappear into thin air, but not thick air?

Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

Crunch Time

2005-09-28T14:26:00.000-04:00

The wedding is just around the corner. 11/23/05.

Time to buckle down and get into the "ZONE". Need to focus on my wedding and wedding alone. It is unfortunate but i have no free time for anything but my beautiful fiance and our special day. So if anyone wants me for anything, make an appointment for December 2005. Cause i am booked until then. Deal with it.

WORLD WRESTLING INSANITY

The INSANITY is here and going strong. Getting stronger every day. So check it out.

Speaking of strong, Randy Johnson is 5-0 with a 1.89 ERA in his last 6 starts. Curt Shilling of the Red Sox, not so good. 5 Yankee games left and we are tied with the Red Sox for first with 3 games in Boston this weekend. Nail biting time. Good golly miss Molly.

Lost tonight. I get anxious just thinking about it. Fantastic show.

Saw Commander in Cheif with Geena Davis and Jack Bauer's dad. Not a bad show. Unfortunatly i don't think it is going to do well. Plus, way too many commercials.

House Majority Leader Tom DeLay is indicted on conspiracy charges. Sucks for him no?

Check out the UXW Pictures from my show on Saturday. Good stuff. UXW Wrestling Presents "Every Victim Counts"

Anyway, some Randomness to end your day.

Why do they call it your "bottom", when it's really in the middle of your body?

Why do British people never sound British when they sing?

Why do they call them guidance counselors when all counselors do is offer guidance?

Why do they call it "head over heels in love" If our head is always over our heels?

Can a hearse driver drive a corpse in the Car Pool lane?

Why is the name of the phobia for the fear of long words Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia?

If someone can't see, they're blind and if someone cant hear, they're deaf, so what do you call people who can't smell?

How do they get those boats in those glass bottles?

Why would superman want to leap over the tallest building in a single bound if he can fly?

Why is it called a TV set when there is only one?

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

How did the headless horseman know where he was going?

Why do they call it an escalator if it takes you down?

Why is it called football when you hardly use your feet?

How come some Little Debbie snack cakes come in a twin pack and others are wrapped individually?

Do cows drink milk?

Can a guy named Nick have a 'nick'name?

If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?

Since we see little birdies when we just get knocked out, what do little birdies see when they just get knocked out??

What is a male ladybug called?

Why are semi-trucks bigger than regular trucks?

Why is an alarm clock going "off" when it actually turns on?

If you wore a teflon suit, could you ever end up in a sticky situation?

If something "sells like hotcakes" how fast do hotcakes sell?

If you mated a bull dog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit?

Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

THE INSANITY HAS ARRIVED

2005-09-27T11:49:00.000-04:00

Last night it happened, the Insanity has arrived. Please check out James Guttman's new website World Wrestling Insanity and enjoy yourselves while there. James Guttman has been a member of the Pro Wrestling Torch newsletter/website for three years. He is currently writing a book for ECW Press which will be an expose of sorts on World Wrestling Entertainment. The book is written and is expected to be published in the Spring of 2006. I will keep you posted and actually posts excerpts of the book once available. I will be writing columns for James' website starting with my first column which is currently posted. I hope you all like it. Feel free to send us any feedback.

Yankees are in 1st again. Half game up as well as tied with Cleveland for the Wild Card spot. It is soooo coming down to Sunday's game in Boston. I can feel it.

Poor Chad Pennington. I think it is safe to say that his career is done. While he may be able to get surgery, rehab and throw a football again, hs career doesn't look as promising as it did two years ago. Back to back seasons with rotator cuff surgery cannot be good for a quarterbacks life span. He is never, ever going to be able to throw a football the same again. Sad day for Jets fans.

Tonight on ABC is Commander in Cheif. The Gina Davis vehicle where she plays the first ever female president. I plan on giving it a chance and i will let you know how it is.

WWE RAW returns to the USA Network next Monday. No more Spike TV. Don't forget.

I leave you all with some randomness. Enjoy.

Do people with big eyes see at a wider range than people with smaller eyes?

Do you ever notice those red balls on the wires while your driving? Well what are they for?

Why do donuts have holes?

Why don't you hear thunder with heat lightning?

Do the different "M&M's"® colors taste different?

If your born at exactly midnight is your birthday on both those days?

If you're caught "between a rock and a hard place", is the rock not hard?

If one man says, "it was an uphill battle," and another says, "it went downhill from there," how could they both be having troubles?

Why is it you can walk down a road, even if it goes uphill?

Why do we say "bye bye" but not "hi hi"?

Can blind people be dyslexic when they read Braille?

How do you handcuff a one-armed man?

Why do the call the angel of death an angel if all it does is bring pain and
suffering?

Why doesn't the glue in the bottle dry up?

If Luke took a bath, would the water be lukewarm?

If an anarchist group attained political power, would they by principle have to dissolve their own government?

If you decide that you're indecisive, which one are you?

Why is it we have the weight of the world on our shoulders but have to get it off our chests?

Why does everyone speak different languages and have different accents if we all originally came from the same place?

Why do they call it a RUNNING BACK when he is running forward?

If you tell someone they are being judgmental aren't you being judgmental yourself?

Tonight's the Night

2005-09-26T17:01:00.000-04:00

The INSANITY is coming. It will be here tonight. Check out James Guttman's column on the Torch Website for details. It will be up after 11:00 PM Eastern time. I am keeping it short and sweet today. I will have a better update tomorrow.

2005-09-23T16:54:00.000-04:00

Here is an exclusive photo from the Death Star.

Now we know how they do it.

Anyway, UXW Pro tomorrow night. Click HEREfor details.

Yankees a whole game in front of the Red Sox for first place. It is getting tense.

Everybody Hates Chris. I must say, i was laughing a bit. Not as funny as it could have been but then again, UPN played all of the most funny clips for the previews. So they kind of spoiled it.

I think i am going to go see "A History of Violence" at the movies. Viggo Mortensen is an underrated actor and the previews look pretty good.

My doggie misses his mom. She is in Miami and instead of sleeping in the bed with me like he normally does, he has been sleeping in the hallway waiting for her to come home. He is sad. But he will be extremely happy when she gets home.

Angus Steak Pizza from Dominos. Try it. It's good. Best pizza Domino's makes. Bar none.

The Insanity is almost here. 3 more days. James Guttman is stoked. So am I. Should be a goodie. WHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!~!~!~!

Here is a little teaser, ENJOY and see you soon:

2005-09-22T12:09:00.000-04:00

Yanks in FIRST. THE YANKEES ARE IN FIRST~!~!~!

WHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!~!~!~!

I am so excited, the Yanks are in first. Now lets just hope they keep it that way. If they keep playing the way they are, they may just do so.

Big show this weekend. I am a bit excited. I will give you full details soon.

The Insanity debuts on Monday. I will link you all once it has happened.

Lost returned yesterday on ABC. Fantastic episode. Found out what was in the hatch. It was something i expected it to be. A little twist on it, but still what i expected.

Whatever happened to the Elm Street Kids? They used to wrestle frequently and then, BOOM, their gone. Never to be heard from again. They had potential and were working on becoming one of the top teams on the independent wrestling circuit. Now, missing. I miss them.

My puppy isn't stinky anymore. WHHHOOOOOOOOOOOO~!~!~!

He is happy to not be stinky.

Some more thoughts for you:

Do judges and lawyers do jury duty?

Do fish sleep?

Would it be possible for a solar car to travel faster then the speed of light?

Isn't it scary that the word "therapist" is the same as the words "the" and "rapist" put together?

Do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another?

On a telephone, why does ABC start on the number 2 and not 1?

Do pigs pull ham strings?

Why do radio operators say "niner" instead of just "nine"?

Why do people say heads up when you should duck?

Why did Superman wear his briefs on the outside of his tights?

Does anyone actually kill two birds with one stone?

Why do they call the clock where you punch your time card called a "time" clock?

Aren't all clocks "time" clocks?

Why does blow and suck mean the same thing when we describe something being crap?

Can dogs have dog days?

If you are born on February 29 of a leap year, when is your birthday?

Do birds pee?

Do siamese twins pay for one ticket or two tickets when they go to movies and concerts?

Why do they call it 2% milk, if its 2% fat, not milk?

What do you say when someone says you're in denial, but you're not?

If you had x-ray vision, but closed your eyes, could you still see?

Have you ever thought what life would be like if your name was Anonymous? You'd get credit for everything nobody wanted credit for?

If a water spins clockwise when it drains in the northern hemisphere, and water spins counterclockwise when it drains in the southern hemisphere...which way does it spin at the equator?

If you own a piece of land and there is an volcano on it and it ruins a
nearby town, do you have to pay for the property damage?

If you have x-ray vision, and you can see through anything, wouldn't you see through everything and actually see nothing?

If it is a 50 mph per hour wind and you drive your car at 50mph downwind, if you stick your head outside would you feel the wind?

Why does "closing up" a shop and "closing down" a shop mean the same thing?

Why do they call them "Animal Crackers" when there not even crackers...they're cookies?

How do you throw away a garbage can?

Why in baseball is it called the World Series if it is only played in the U.S.A & Canada?

Why are things typed up but written down?

Why does caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing?

In some books, why do they have blank pages at the very end?

If you were on a plane going the speed of sound and walked from the back of the plane to the front, would you be walking faster than the speed of sound?

If the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?

What does OK actually mean?

what does the K in K-mart actually stand for?

Why do we feel blue? and what color does a smurf feel when they are down?

Why?

2005-09-21T11:05:00.000-04:00

Why do people who don’t want to go to hell bury themselves 6 ft. closer?

Why is the St. Louis baseball team the cardinals, but the Missouri state bird is the blue bird?

Why are public toilet seats never complete ovals?

If we had a president that was a woman, would her husband be the first man?

Why do we have to wait till the water starts boiling before we can put
pasta into the water?

If a criminal turns himself in shouldn't he get the reward money?

Why are blue Christmas lights so popular? Aren't red and green the
traditional colors?

Why do police officers wear tight clothes and dressy shoes? wouldn't that make them slower when chasing someone?

If London Bridge is standing why is there a song about it falling down?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

Why do birds bob their heads when they walk?

Why is it when we ask for the check in a restaurant they bring us a bill?

How come wine and hard liquor doesn't come in cans, but beer does?

When lightning strikes the ocean why don't all the fish die?

If people say if you eat dessert before dinner it will ruin your appetite won’t eating dinner before dessert ruin your appetite for dessert?

Why do they call him a Skipper when he just stands there?

Why does "lake" come first (Lake Michigan) and "river" come second (Mississippi River)?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

If I raise the volume on my radio, does it use more electricity?

What would happen if everyone in the world were to flush their toilet at the same time?

Do glow-in-the-dark objects stop glowing when somebody turns the lights on?

If you died on the International Dateline, and half of you were on 1 side and the other half on the other side, what day would you die?

If someone crashes his or her car on purpose, why is it still a car accident?

If people with one arm go to get their nails done, do they pay half price?

If the weather man says "it's a 50% chance of rain" does that mean he has no idea if its going to rain or not?

If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

If Sunday is the holy day of rest why do we have to get up early for church?

When you snap your fingers, does the sound occur when your middle finger releases from your thumb, or when your middle finger hits the palm of your hand?

Why are you IN a movie, but your ON TV?

Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees only" doors at restaurants?
Shouldn’t they be more specific and say "employees of this place only"?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars
to look at things on the ground?

What is the parking situation like at the Special Olympics?

If the police see some one committing a crime but are on there way to investigate a crime do they stop or go to the one they were on their way to?

Seeing as cupid is so good at matchmaking, does he have a girlfriend?

Is an alcoholic just a drunk that's scared of a hangover?

If shampoo comes in so many colors, why is the lather on your head always
white?

If a table is propped up can it be propped down?

If our planet is inhabited with creatures made by God...is it possible that there's another planet inhabited with creatures made by the Devil?

Why do they put Canadian bacon on Hawaiian Pizza?

How come, in the Mini Wheat’s commercials, Sweets has a Brooklyn accent and Wheat’s has an English accent? They're attached at the back, wouldn't they have been raised in the same place?

Why do people, such as S.W.A.T or Seals wear the bulletproof vests where you can see them? Wouldn’t people aim for their head or crotch?

If you don't pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?

How come stealing from one book is plagiarism, but stealing from many is research?

Can you fart and burp at the same time?

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?

Have you ever heard of a raisin that is not dry?

If two identical twin brothers married identical twin sisters, would there kids be identical?

If your glove is too big, does it still fit like a glove?

Is it possible to scream at the bottom of your lungs?

Since you have to pull over when you see a funeral coming down the
road...what would you do if there were a funeral coming down both sides?

If you can test drive cars at the dealer's, why not test-drive lawnmowers
around at a hardware store?

Is there anything easier done than said?

Is it possible for a narcoleptic to have insomnia?

Since the U.S. says United We Stand, does that offend legless people?

If no one buys a ticket to a movie, does the movie still play?

Are you able to fart in heaven?

Why isn't sour cream really sour?

Do they re-use body bags? Or do they throw them away and get new ones? The people using them wouldn’t care anyway?

Why isn’t the Q or the Z included on the phone?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They’re going to see you naked anyway?

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?

Do ducks sneeze?

Why is that when fish die in water, they float to the top, but when humans die in water, they sink to the bottom?

Don’t you find it weird we teach our kids: scrub a dub dub, three men in a tub?

Why do they call it "morning sickness" in the middle of the afternoon?

Did you know there is a page 666 in The Bible?

If money is the root of all evil then how come churches ask for it?

Can vampires donate blood?

If a fire truck was on its way to a fire and it passes another fire, which fire would it go to?

If you could walk through the walls, wouldn’t you fall through the floor?

How come when you go in the front door of a church, you are at the back of the church, and if you go in the back door, you would end up in the front of the church?

If your named Will and you are in the army do you get worried when people say fire at will?

Why is there an L in NOEL?

If you eat regular rice crispies with chocolate milk will it taste the same as eating co-co crispies with regular milk?

Why is Bra singular and Panties plural?

What are those little things on the end of your shoelaces called?

When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you supposed to throw the top one away?

If they develop a supersonic train, will they give it a whistle?

Do fish ever get thirsty?

Why can't we sneeze with our eyes open?

If there were a knowledge contest, would the female winner be called Miss Informed?

If you stick on stickers on non-stick pans, would they stick on?

Why don't ducks duck when you shoot at them?

On a hamburger bun, why is the top bun always bigger than the bottom one?

Why does breaking a mirror mean seven years of bad luck when seven is a lucky number??

Can angels eat devils food cake?

If I think, and therefore I am, am I just a thought?

If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy?

Why do the numbers on the phone go one way, but the numbers on the calculator go the other way?

Why do we tie shoes to the back of a car for newly weds?

Is it possible to do stand-up comedy sitting down?

Is bad a bad word?

If dinosaurs had sores.........what would they be called?

What does the T in T-Shirt really mean?

Why does the label on children’s Tylenol tell you not to operate heavy machinery or vehicles when it's for CHILDREN!?

Why do they call front seat shotgun?

Do bald men wash their head with soap or shampoo?

Why are there dents in a golf ball?

Why are the obituaries found in the "living" section of the newspaper?

How can someone be dirt poor, and another be filthy rich?

When you put 'THE' and 'IRS' together, it forms 'THEIRS'. Coincidence? I think not?

What would happen if u put a humidifier and a dehumdifier in the same room?

Are one handed people offended when police tell them to put their hands up?

If you built a time machine with all new parts, when you went back would the parts you use dissapear because they didn't exist then?

How can sweet and sour sauce be sweet and sour at the same time?

Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?

If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?

Why do black olives come in cans and green olives come in jars

Did Noah keep his bees in archives?

If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth?

If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?

If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?

What happens to an 18 hour bra after 18 hours?

What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

What do mermaids eat?

If your plan is having no plan, do you have a plan?

If the energizer bunny attacks someone, is he charged with battery?

If anything's possible, then is it possible that nothing's possible?

Is atheism is a non-prophet organization?

If a baseball is hit out of the stadium, travels completely around the world, re-enters the stadium, and is caught by a fielder, is it a home run or an out?

If a policecar, an ambulance, a fire truck and a mail truck are all at a 4 way stop who has the right away?

Why are all farms red?

why are rubber duckies yellow when most real ducks aren't?

Are there female leprechauns?

The Insanity is coming.

2005-09-20T10:31:00.000-04:00

Monday Night, September 26th, log onto www.pwtorch.com and read James Guttman's RAW Insanity column to find out more.

The Yanks are surging. 1/2 game out of first place. End the season with 3 games against the Red Sox. How fitting would it be for the Yankees, who's season ended last year at the hands of the Sox, to eliminate the defending world champion Red Sox from Playoff contention during the last game of the season? That would be HUGE.

Big UXW show this Saturday. Check out www.usaprowrestling.net or www.declarationofindependents.net to find out more.

Lost returns for it's second season on Wednesday. Let me rephrase. Emmy Award winning LOST returns for it's second season on Wednesday.

Pretty fun weekend just past. Had a blast at my cousin's baby shower. it was a good time.

Saw Crash over the weekend. Good movie. I reccommend it.

The Fiance is going to Miami. I am sad. But she will be back and i will be happy.

My dog needs a bath. He s starting to get stinky. No that he cares. He just plays around or sleeps all day not realizing that he smells. He doesn't care, he just wants to be spoiled. And believe me, my fiance and I do just that.

Pay Per View this past Sunday. Unforgiven. The show proved once again why, when it comes to being a great wrestler, there is Shawn Michaels and then there is everyone else.

How I met your mother on CBS. Not a bad show. Need some work but has potential. Neil Patrick Harris (aka Doogie Howser) steals the show. He has "it" and if you don't believe me, watch Harold and Kumar go to White Castle.

Saw the Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire preview. It is a shame that these kids playing the roles in the movie won't be doing many more. The movies look better and better each time. It is just that they are aging so fast.

I'll be back later with some ammendum (is that spelled correctly?) to this blog. Need a break.

WHHHOOOOOOOO~!~!~!

2005-09-16T11:33:00.000-04:00

Yankees chipping away. 1.5 games behind Boston and only 1/2 a game behind the Indians. Grind it as they say. Still don't know why they say it. Dumb, plain old dumb.

Jeff Jarrett has defeated Raven to recapture the NWA TNA world Title in Canada yesterday. Ugh.

President Bush gives another speech with no substance. He did manage to say this:

"Four years after the frightening experience of September 11th, Americans have every right to expect a more effective response in a time of emergency. When the federal government fails to meet such an obligation, I, as President, am responsible for the problem, and for the solution. So I have ordered every Cabinet secretary to participate in a comprehensive review of the government response to the hurricane. This government will learn the lessons of Hurricane Katrina. We are going to review every action and make necessary changes, so that we are better prepared for any challenge of nature, or act of evil men, that could threaten our people."

That was the extent of the blame he will take for Katrina. Nevermind the fact that the Hurricane hit on Sunday night and he was on vacation, unreachable until Wednesday.

Geeez.

Got some good plans for the weekend. I will update you all on them on Monday. Should be fun though.

WWE Pay Per View on Sunday. Unforgiven.

For those non wrestling fans out there, sorry that there is so much wrestling in this update. DEAL WITH IT. When you get your own blog, you can post what you want on it. So there.

Giants vs. Saints in NJ on Monday. Thing is, Saints are the home team and Giants are the road team. I am sure the crowd will react that way. *sarcasm*

If A-Rod doesn't win the MVP, i will be upset. Sure David Ortiz is a monster right now but he is a full time DH. A-Rod is putting up BIG numbers while he is playing third base full time.

I am getting married in two months. Time flies when i am having fun. next thing i know, i will be blogging here that i have been married for 5 years already. LOL.

RANDOM THOUGHTS FOR YOU ALL TO ENJOY

Why is it when we laugh in school the teachers say do you find something funny? When obviously we do?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in" but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going too ?

Why do people call it an ATM machine, but they know it's really saying Automated Teller Machine Machine?

Why do people say PIN number when that truly means Personal Identification Number Number?

Why is Christmas colors red and green when Santa's suit is red and white?

Why do you DELETE something on the computer, but ERASE something on paper?

Since there is a rule that states "i" before "e" except after "c", wouldn't "science" be spelled wrong?

If the S.W.A.T team comes to your house and breaks down your door, do they replace it later?

If the handicapped bathrooms are for people who cant walk why do they put them at the end of the bathrooms ?

Why is it that on the back of a medicine bottle it says "adult" is 12 and above, but the adult age in reality is 18?

Why do most people put more effort into their wedding than their actual marriage?

Why do dogs walk around in circles before lying down?

Can a metal plate in your head get rusted?

Do stuttering people stutter when they're thinking to themselves?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

How come you can kill a deer and put it on your wall but it's illegal to keep them as a pet?

What do vegetarians feed their dogs?

Can someone give up lent for lent?

Why would Dodge make a car called Ram?

Why is it when we duck they call us chicken?

Why is there a size 12-14, 14-16, 16-18, and so forth, but no 13, 15, and 17?

What did cured ham actually have?

If CD’s were spun in the opposite direction, would it say everything backwards?

If lava melts rock, wouldn’t the lava melt the volcano?

Can a blind man see his future?

Are children who use sign language allowed to talk with their mouth full?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Why do people say, "you've been working like a dog" when dogs just sit around all day?

Can you write in pencil on an eraser?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that when we are humming and then we plug our nose, our humming stops? Do people really hum through their nose, or their mouths?

Can you blow a balloon up under water?

Can crop circles be square?

How do they get the air inside the bubble wrap?

Why are there black lines on a basketball?

Does it really count in court when an atheist is sworn in under oath using a Bible?

Why are there pictures of the sun wearing sunglasses when the purpose of sunglasses is to protect your eyes from the sun?

If you were born exactly on 12:00 midnight on December 31st – January 1st, which year would you say you were born in?

If marriage means you fell in love, does divorce mean you climbed out?

Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?

When a car is for sale and it has a balloon on it, does the balloon come with it?

If you are parking somewhere and the signs in front of the parked cars say "30 minutes" then when your 30 minutes are up can you park in the spot right next to you??

Why isn't the word 'gullible' in the dictionary?

When you see the weather report and it says "partly cloudy" and then the next day it says "partly sunny"; what’s the difference?

Can a person choke and die on a life savor?

Why are women and men's shoe sizes different?

What happens when you say “hi” to your friend on an airplane who's name is Jack?

UXW is coming and other random stuff

2005-09-15T11:44:00.000-04:00

Saturday September 24, 2005
Skate Safe America
182 Bethpage Sweet Hollow Road
Old Bethpage, Long Island 11804

The show is being taped for Aaron Weiss' PWS Pay Per View series. Weiss Pro Wrestling Superstars has bene airing old wrestling footage added to recent independent wrestling footage on "On Demand" Pay per View.

The show starts at 5:00 PM with an Internet TV Taping for the new UXW Internet show.

The main show beings at 7:00 PM

My team of Poppalishus and Guapalishus will be in action on both the Internet taping as well as the main show. Plus, AYM Enterprises has a new client who will be debuting on the show. WHHHOOOOOOOOOOO~!~!~!

Already announced:
UXW Title vs AWA Title
2 out of 3 falls
UXW Champion "The Hardcore Chair Swinging Freak" Balls Mahoney vs. AWA Champion "The King of Old School" Steve Corino

1st Fall - Dog Collar match
2nd Fall - Tables match
3rd Fall - Last Man standing match

Tag Team Challenge match
The New Age Outlaws ("The Badass" Billy Gunn and "RoadDog" Jesse James) vs. The Christopher Street Connection (Buff E. & Mace Mendoza)

Xtreme Title
"Primetime" Elix Skipper vs. Frankie "The Future" Kazarian

The debuting Rhino vs. The Sandman

Also appearing:
Former WWE Superstar Test, D-Lo Brown, Axl Rotten, Jasmin St. Claire, Tammy "Sunny" Sytch, UXW US Champion Mike the shooter Kruel, The Outcast Killaz, "The Physical Phenomenon" Poppalishus and Guapalishus w/ Matt Dawgs the AYM, Vordell Walker, Havok,"Lowlife" Louie Ramos, The Masked Maniac, Ricky Landell, Deranged, Knight Life Final Cut ("M-Tizzle" Mike Tobin, Justin Credible, "Bulletproof" Billy Reil, Trent Acid & Johnny Kashmere)

OTHER RANDOM THOUGHTS:
Yankee's working hard to make the playoffs. 2.5 back. I can't stand that new slogan though. "Grind it" Really, come on. Can't think of anything better than that?

President Bush takes responsibility for the Hurricane Katrina disaster. Now if he only stood up and took responsibility for the Iraq fiasco.

Damon Wayans bashes Bush. Said that if the drat is reinstated, he isn't sending his two sons to fight in this war unless Bush sends his, and i quote, "two drunk slut daughters first". That way, at least he knows his sons will get some ass on the way to Iraq. GOLD~!~!~!

My First Blog

2005-09-13T10:45:00.000-04:00

9/13 - two days after 9/11 which happens to be my b-day. I figured since everyone and their mothers have a blog, why not me? Is my blog going to be important? No. Is it going to make sense? Sometimes. Will it be random? most likely. Just testing the waters here. Throwing sh*t to the wall to see what sticks. Enjoy. PS - The INSANITY IS COMING. SOON, REAL SOON. SOONER THAT I THOUGHT. I AM GLAD IT IS COMING THOUGH. CAN'T WAIT.